1 I'm bumping up and down on my ass on the sands
12 "I'm just going to look under the bed and see if there's a marauder th...
26 I've a nice little room with running water
31 I've just arrived (at___________)
39 "Sea Bathing is so good for my Arthritis" "Well, you ain't got it und...
47 George, I've told you you were not to kiss like that till we are marri...
58 I said "hands up," Miss, but please yerself - that's O.K. by me
61 "The Guv'ner's in there with his typist, Mum - she's just taking somet...
76 The Shortest Prayer on Record: A Man, Amen!
86 The child is making a dreadful noise, do you think you could pacify it...
91 "Can't see you to-night - I'm washing my hair!"
94 The Optimist: "Any moth balls today, Ladies?"
118 Yes, it has a sad ending. The Heroine dies, and the Hero has to go bac...
125 Can I show you anything further, Sir?
126 Do you play Golf, Miss Gladeye? No - but I know some nice indoor game...
127 Would you like a Baby Polly? No I wouldn't, and my name isn't Polly.
130 I DON'T SEE ANYTHING TO LAUGH AT
131 I'd never give in to any man except by force, but you look very strong...
138 Hullo Tommy, how long is your furlough? Mind your own business!
144 Albums many have I seen Albums Red and Blue and Green But in India w...
152 If you're in love Say it with gloves Say it with diamonds or drink ...
154 IDIOT! I SAID PAINTS!!
159 That'll be a farthing each ye owe me, boys.
161 'Ere Bert, you just wait till I give 'em "God save the King."
163 I won't never come out drivin' with you no more, you just see if I nev...
177 Mummy, did you find baby under the Gooseberry bush? Yes dear. Well, ...
202 Sorry we can't get to the wedding, but we'll be seeing you later
204 HERE IS TO YOU FROM ME
205 Every time I look in the glass, I seem to get more stout!
210 I'm sticking it out for another week here
235 I'm chucking my weight about
267 We feel like a couple of kids since we came here
269 Excuse me Mum, but are you the lady with the rusty connection?
272 "Going to 'ave another, old girl?" "No, dearie, it's only just the wa...
275 "There's something suspicious about that new member - I believe he's c...
281 "How is it I never get what I ask for in this shop?" "Because if you ...
287 "What a long face a cow has!" Well, you'd have a long face if you wer...
292 "That's right, little hen! Rather death than dishonour!!"
296 "Here what's that egg doing here?" "It's alright Robin, I only did if...
299 "Why the bottles?" "Well, you see, she's the Barmaid at the Hotel!" ...
315 (?) "YES, HE'S A SORT OF AMATEUR NUDIST!"
317 "THE WOMAN ALWAYS PAYS!"
336 "Why are you digging up my husband's grave?" "I'm only just turning t...
345 "What's the good of it? A dust catcher, that's what I calls it!"
349 "Don't say it George!"
350 "Don't you have his tonsils out, my Dear, he may want to get married s...
360 "Oh, Painter, I want you to touch up the place where my husband put hi...
362 "And if you can't change a pound note, you must lend me a penny - and ...
Code updated 19th January 2026
